Managing baby sleep and returning to work
When our little one is born, we often expect the sleepless nights and adjusting to this whilst they are so small. But often the disconnected nights go on longer than we thought that they would. Maternity leave often feels so short, and before we know it we are thinking about the return back to work.
Returning to work after maternity leave can stir up a whirlwind of emotions — anxiety, guilt, relief, overwhelm — and when you're also running on very little sleep, it can feel like trying to run through mud. This is often the turning point for parents when they get in touch with me, as they are already struggling during the day and can't even begin to imagine how they will cope back in the workplace.
This blog is for every parent who’s packing lunches, scheduling meetings, and trying to remember if they already had that cup of coffee... or just dreamed about it. You’re not alone, and there are ways to soften the transition.
I truly believe we struggle to thrive while suffering in sleep deprivation. As a whole, it impacts our bodies, our health and mentality and it can feel tough to be at our best. And when we throw work and family life into the mix? It can feel impossible!
Our focus is one of the main things we notice. We struggle to keep our brains focused and keep attention. When coming back into the workplace, we are often catching up on months worth of information and getting back into the swing of things.. focusing on jobs instead of nap math! However, we are then often still thinking about our babies, leaving work and picking up from day care. So our focus has shifted already, and when we are exhausted it can be hard to keep focused on what we need to in the moment.
Anyone else also reach for the caffeine and sugar filled goods when we are tired? I've been there too. We tell ourselves we need the sugar fix and our diet takes a knock too. We fill up on coffee at our desk in the mornings to keep us awake, then hit the afternoon slump where we are falling asleep in meetings...
Then we move on to our mental health. Not including the truly difficult suffering of post-natal depression, but also our anxieties and mindset take its toll too. We are so exhausted that our whole belief system is knocked - we overthink, we become more anxious and with little energy to focus on this to improve it.
And the commute to work!? I remember the days surviving on 2 hours of sleep through the latest teething episode, driving to the office with the windows down just to stop me from falling asleep at the wheel!
I often feel that the workplace just doesn't have the support needed for parents returning to work. Whilst there is an increase in focus for improving staff mental health, I think sleep is still something most employers fall short in supporting.
These impacts can be so true and real for many parents and this is what I want to change!
Firstly - Grief & Guilt are normal! You might feel like you’re abandoning your baby, or that you're not giving your best at work. Add sleep deprivation on top, and your emotions are dialled up to 100. Remind yourself: You're doing something incredibly hard, and that doesn't make you any less of a good parent or professional.
Second - Cognitive Fog is Real. Sleep deprivation affects memory, focus, and emotional regulation. It's not just “being tired.” Your brain is operating on limited capacity — and that’s okay. Be kind to yourself. Don’t expect peak performance from a mind running on minimal rest.
So here are some tips to help you in your return to work:
Prioritise sleep where you can! I won't preach to you the standard "sleep when baby sleeps" because I know this is easier said than done. Often we want time for us, and that's perfectly normal! But if we can get some earlier nights to help restore our own sleep we may just feel more ready to tackle the next day.
What makes you feel energised?! Good music? Fresh air and lunch break walks? Doing something productive? You may not feel like you want to do any of these things, but you will always feel better for doing it!
Where can you share the load? It can take a lot to partner switch for bedtimes and routines but where you can, make small steps to allow someone to help take the reigns. Whether it be the starting with the bedtime routine, before helping with awakenings too. It's worth taking the steps to get there and bring an aligned approach to get through this transition.
When we aren't feeling our best - try fuelling our energy with water and good food! It takes that binge cycle guilt away and gives us more natural energy, improving that afternoon slump.
Planners! Easier said than done, but easing the mental load by writing it down. Plan the meals, get a good calendar and to-do list. It will help ease our busy brains trying to remember it all. And that doesn't mean adding the non-essentials in, it is OK if your house isn't spotless. Just the things to make the days smoother!
Prepare what is needed the night before, this means you aren't starting the day in full stress or overwhelm.
Seek support - whether that be subscription meals, a cleaner, family support or sleep support...don't hold back in this as your health and sleep for you and your family is not selfish nor something that needs to be shifted down the priority list! It is an essential, not a luxury!
And it isn't all bad. You get a chance to talk to others, about things that aren't nappies, teething and the drama of baby classes! You are getting a little bit of you back again. This season might feel like survival mode — and sometimes it is. But you’re doing it. One tired step at a time. Be gentle with yourself. Rest when you can. And know that it does get easier, especially with support and realistic expectations.
And if you need further support - reach out anytime, or access resources to help you bring a smooth transition, and sleep filled nights for your whole family so that you can thrive again.
Jade
