One of the most searched Google questions during parenthood! I have also been here, desperately seeking answers as to why the awakenings were so frequent, and not getting any better. After all, the internet says they should be sleeping through the night by 6 months right? We are also forever comparing to other little one's who seem to be sleeping well, and we start doubting everything we know about our own child's sleep. I have been that parent, where I've felt unsure on where to turn and what changes to make to help my child.
There are lots of reasons why our baby is awakening frequently and I'll cover some of these in this blog.
Awakenings are also very NORMAL! Even as adults, we wake during the night. However, whilst it is important to normalise awakenings, I do also see the other side of this where we can start to discourage parents to ask for help when they are truly exhausted and feel they have no way out.
Firstly, there are often external reasons for wake ups which we have very little control over, such as; teething, colds, viruses or developmental changes. These are more short term sleep challenges - and phases where sleep eventually improves again.
However, if your sleep challenges have been going on longer than this, or you know there isn't anything else going on other than the struggle to connect the night sleep then here are the main reasons why your little one might not be sleeping through the night.
1. Overtiredness. One thing I find present with the majority of families I work with and it is so easy for our little ones to become overtired. Overtiredness can impact:
- Short Naps
- Night Awakenings
- Fighting Sleep
- Early Rises
This could be happening because they are awake for too long during the day - for example the wake stretch between naps or between last nap and bedtime. The awakenings and displays of overtiredness can often look like under-tiredness, as the cortisol increases until it is time to sleep - and then the cycle of awakenings are bringing on the overtiredness and the cycle continues!
Top Tip: Although as parents we watch for sleepy queues, the truth is that once the sleepy queues start there is very little time before overtiredness hits. So the secret is to catch them before they hit this and following age appropriate Wake Windows (the awake time between sleep).
If you're unsure what windows are age appropriate, you can grab the Nap Success Mini Class here.
2. Under-tiredness
This is less common - but can happen if little one is getting too much day sleep. You may find this nearer the time when they are ready to cut one of their naps, or if their wake windows are changing. For example, bedtime falls too close after naptime.
Top tip: Either extend bedtime slowly by 10 minutes each time to find the new perfect wake window until the next nap is ready to go, then you can slowly reduce that by 10 minutes at a time!
3. Sleep Associations
This is often one of the biggest reasons for disconnect in night sleep. From the age of 4 months, babies cognitively develop the ability to sense they are waking in a position/place different from where they fell asleep. This could then begin to impact their sleep cycles and no longer do these knit together, but they wake frequently between sleep cycles aware they no longer have the thing that put then to sleep or are in a completely different place from where they fell asleep!
You can work on these changes responsively, and in gradual steps. Sleep training doesn't need to be anything scary. Start with the sleep association itself before you consider any transition to the cot/bedspace. If you want to read more about these practices then you can buy my S.L.E.E.P Success Method book here.
4. Development Leaps.
Babies reach development leaps and milestones at different stages, and will fall slightly differently for each child, for example - rolling, sitting up, walking, talking and so on.
Typical leaps hit somewhere around:
4 Months
6 Months
10 Months
12 Months
18 Months
2 Years
3 Years
If they have previously slept really well, and suddenly there are split nights and lengthy awakenings, chances are they have hit a development leap! You may find they wake super happy, having a nice 2am party or they might be a bit grumpy because they can't understand why they aren't asleep! Their brains are wired to be awake during big developmental changes, and often not much resettles them. But as parents, we try everything in our power and bring in loads of different settle approaches in the hope that they eventually sleep.
Top tip: Keep consistency! Any new habits we embed now may stick well beyond the leap ends, so try keep to whatever worked before this hit. Or, if you want to make changes to their settle approach now may also be a good time to do it. Give lots of reassurance where needed and it will pass within a few weeks, before you then see their new found skills start to show!
Discomfort
Reflux isn't just a short term challenge and can often impact sleep for the first year or two. Even past the first few months, once they start weaning often acidic foods can disrupt their sleep due to tummy discomfort. I also see many cases of skin discomforts such as eczema or bigger digestive issues and allergies being a root cause to sleep disturbances. If you think there is something else that could be impacting their sleep, seek the GP!
There are always reasons why our little ones may wake, and sleep is rarely linear and changes often. But if you know in yourself that they are well fed, well and happy in themselves and awakenings are still so frequent and you're feeling the struggle - please know there is likely something you can do to help knit those sleep cycles together somewhere.
And you don't need to do it alone. You can book in a free call below and I'd be more than happy to chat about your current challenges or check out the online programs to find your perfect sleep course.
Jade
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